Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Reflecting on Loss: Thankful for What We Have

I am letting you know. This is a type of honesty post from me. Today has just been an emotional day. This is an emotional post.

I know what it is to experience loss. It is heart wrenching. "Time makes you forget" is an illusion. It is false hope that things will get better. It doesn't get better. It just gets a little easier.

And then, every once in a while you get those not so subtle reminders that seem more to slap you in the face causing an avalanche of tears rather than tickle your cheek to bring down a single drop. Sends you back to the "what-if's" and "if-only's" or "it would be like this now..." Those are the dangerous thoughts. Then, those thoughts because the ultimate self-defeating: This is silly... This is not me... Snap out of it...

That is the time when you need to look at what is before you, not behind you. In the midst of it the present is all there is.

I have shared on Facebook and instagram about a blogger who is need for prayers for a successful surgery and recovery. They still are in need of those prayers. (I am not going too into detail because they are not mine to give)... Me, being emotional already, was sent into a whirlwind of whatever seemed to be tormenting my mind.

I looked at my babies... I couldn't imagine... There is so much wonder, hope and intrigue looking through their blue eyes, directed at me. There is so much I hope for them. I hope for them to become great. To be able to feel successful, to feel loved. I am so glad that I have them. 

We do not realize that life given to us is precious. Just as easily does it start, it can end. The hardest part is just not knowing when. 

So I look at my two babies and am thankful. I am thankful that I have the time with them that I have. My little boy turns 3 on Sunday. Every day, every year, with them is a blessing. It is amazing that anything and everything can change in the blink of an eye.

I am thankful for our good health. That my 2 babies (though the doctor was worried about weight gain) are doing well. (Samara gained 12oz this last month and Nikolai is up to 26lbs!)

Perhaps I am being over emotional. But sometimes, all it takes is that little thing to send you hurtling back...

All I have to do is look into those sweet faces to be reminded that we should be thankful for all we have...

The Berry Bunch: Reflecting on Loss: Thankful for What We Have

The Berry Bunch: Reflecting on Loss: Thankful for What We Have

All children deserve to live a full and happy life... thus today I pray...Adapted from John10:10 ... might we have life and might we have it more full...