I have not been able to go to sleep at a decent hour at all these last few weeks. I don't know how common this is for new moms, or how common it is for just having a newborn. But I can say that this pretty much, downright just sucks.
Last night I swaddled Nikolai around 9:30/10 and was super excited to think that I might be able to make it into bed before 1 am! Boy was I wrong!
Mistake #1 - Not going to bed when I swaddled and put him to sleep. Instead I went to the living room to spend some time with Brandon. Sure we got to cuddle on the sofa (something we have not done in some time), and watched some TV, but then... who knows... Maybe it would have made the rest of the night more difficult.
Mistake #2 - Nikolai woke up around 11:15 (when we were going to bed). Instead of changing his diaper first, I started to feed him. It is so much easier to have him fall asleep after he has eaten. Changing his diaper is like a wake up call. Can I blame him? Expose his poor rear end to the cold air, use a cold wipe, poor little guy. To add to it, he either had to poop or had gas and was fussy, which made it harder.
Mistake #3 - He has me trained. I discovered this yesterday. He cries, and does not stop unless I pick him up. Yes I like holding him, especially doing the tummy time not on a play area, but on my tummy. But when that is the only place he will not cry, do you just hold them or let them cry? He cried for a good half hour, with the lights off. The light turned on he lasted about 10 minutes before crying even more. Probably figured he was going to be picked up soon. By this time it had been an hour and a half since the last time he ate. So I picked him up and got ready to feed him. It took a while to get him to eat because he was: 1. crying where he was placed on the bed (and) 2. falling asleep the moment I picked him up. He just wanted to be held I think.
After he ate and was wide awake, his diaper leaked. Fantastic! By this time it was well after 1 and almost 2. I was exhausted! Luckily he was on the blanket I was using for swaddling him and the blanket I was using for feeding him (he is a MESSY eater!). I did not need to change my pajamas, just his. Of course, this is the wonderful wake-up call. He did not want to be put down after the changing. It was a fight to get him swaddled. I managed to somehow do the mommy bounce holding the swaddled Nikolai and got him to sleep deep enough to put him into the bassinet and have it last. Granted, that was after 2 am.
About 3 hours later, he woke up and wanted to eat. This time I at least changed him first. And again a little more than 2 hours after. It wasn't until noon that I woke up not to him crying but my phone ringing. At about 9 this morning I had fed him, but could not for the life of me stay awake. I feel bad because of wasting so many mornings. And, how am I going to be able to work come March if it stays like this?
I was watching 'The Talk' yesterday and an author of one of those Pregnancy books, "Exploiting my Baby", Teresa Strasser, had mentioned that by week 3 you will be sitting on your front porch saying 'ok, I am ready for my life back, I am ready to give the baby back'. Or along the lines of that... I cannot imagine my life without Nikolai. I don't want to give him back, but 3 weeks of this sleeping thing...It's enough to make anyone a little crazy.
#11. You have realized the baby trained you for being held in the tummy time position
#12. Sleep is elusive, not because you cannot fall asleep, but because the baby wont let you sleep.
It gets better, I promise! If doing something helps you, I suggest tracking his schedule. It'll be erratic at first, but you start to see a pattern emerge after awhile. For me that meant I could start scheduling my to do list around the baby. You are doing so well! Stay strong and remember, everything else will fall into place after baby finds his pace.
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