What Kind of Example is My Messy Room!?

"Why should I clean my room, Mommy, when your's is such a mess?"

My mouth dropped open. I'm sure a fly might have flown in, buzzed around a bit and left. Those were the words that came out of my oldest, my 6-year-old's, mouth. Sure, I might have been scream yelling at him to clean his room for the last few hours days prior to that question's utterance, just to get the house ready for guests. But, come on. Your 6, child!

How do you respond to a statement such as that? How do you combat the logic and reasoning presented to you by a 6-year-old mind? Because, it's true right? I mean, what have I shown my son besides a messy room? What kind of example am I leading?

We celebrated the baby's 1st birthday a few weeks ago. It was glorious. Funfetti cake with bright blue frosting... The kids were playing their little hearts out in the backyard... We spent the better part of a week cleaning the same parts of the house over and over again just to be ready in time.

As a friend of mine went through our master bedroom to use the bathroom (the guest bath was occupied) I cringed at the thought that she would have to traverse the tiny pathway and actually see the mess! Oh good gravy, the mess... The Mess... With all the yelling and watching and supervising, I never got to lay a finger on my own room.

How much time a day do you talk to your kids about cleaning up? I am pretty sure I tell my kids about 10 million times. Ok. Maybe not that many times. But, I'm sure it's a lot. I tell them to clean up if they want to watch tv, clean up if they want candy, clean up so they can drive their power wheel car outside, clean up for this, clean up for that. I am sure I say it 10 million times more than is absolutely necessary.

But, how often do they see you cleaning? I am pretty sure I spend most of my time standing at the sink washing the gazillion bowls they thought was necessary for breakfast. Apparently a kid needs more than one bowl for cereal in the morning. I don't understand their rationale, or how they manage to get the bowls. I place them high in the cupboard on purpose. They are ninjas... But, do they see me tidying up my own things? Not really. I leave them where I put them, set them down on the counter real fast so that I can pour a glass of milk and forget what I was doing in the 10 seconds the action of pouring milk takes. They don't see me clean.

After everyone at the birthday party went home, we were left behind to take in and absorb the shambles that only a really good birthday party leaves in it's wake. I walked into my kids' rooms and saw the mess. My son looked at me with defeat in his eyes. I just shook my head, shrugged my shoulders and gave him a hug. "did you have fun with your friends?". "yes" he told me. Then I walked to my bedroom and looked at the mess there. No one except my 1 friend went through there and it was worse than my son's room. What am I showing my son? What kind of example am I setting with my own room a mess?

Have you read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up (check out my initial review here) or ClutterFree with Kids (initial review here) or Allie Casazza's Blog? Even the multitude of the organizing/tidying/purging/cleaning facebook groups say to do the same thing when it comes to teaching your kids how to clean/tidy their own spaces. I'm sure if I search harder I could find it stated more. Lead by example. Eventually they will do it too. 

Really, that's what I need to do to get my kids to clean their rooms? Lead by example? At least that's the position we are in now. The towers of boxes and books and fabric and patterns all need to get torn down, purged/cleaned/organized. No matter how long it takes, I need to clean my own stuff and my kids need to see it being done by me. 

Maybe they might not clean it right away. Maybe they will find another excuse. But if I can get it under control at least I am leading by example, and they will learn through their interactions with me and my things. At least I wont hear him say "why should I if you don't."

Happy New Year: Resolution and Goals {Welcome 2016}

First off...

Happy New Year!!!

Last year ended. It was a whirlwind of a year. So much going on, so many new things.. And now a fresh start. A new year to make it better. To make things better, easier, more. A time to plan and prepare and become intentional about living.

I shared last years goals and how I did with meeting them (you can read about that here), and there was a lot I set out to accomplish without success. There was a lot I did accomplish that wasn't on the list, but they were surprises. And yet, with everything that happened last year I kept getting that little whisper in my ear, "you need to be intentional". I didn't understand but as the year progressed I became more aware...

Be Intentional...

Intentional about my time with my husband. We have to schedule the time to be together. We need to remember to be intentional about our love towards each other. Day to day becomes monotonous and we become jaded. We need to be intentional with our interaction with each other and the direction we wish our relationship to go (you know, into old age).

Intentional about my time with my kids. How many times have I set out to start preschool with little man only to have it thrown to the wayside? How many good intentions are cut short only because I didn't make time for it or just let it slide? I love my kids and I know they know it. But I need to be more intentional in my time I spend with them.

Intentional about my time for myself. No more feeling guilty when I ask my husband to watch the kids so I can take an evening out with the ladies. I laugh at that because that is hard not to feel. He says I shouldn't feel guilty. But, I do. I need to be more intentional with the free time I get when I do get it. Scheduling that free time into my day, my week, my months. I need to schedule that time in for Brandon too. A family I look to as a roll model in this takes every Saturday and trades. One Saturday is mom's, next is dad's, then it's the family day and starts all over the fourth Saturday. I love that idea!

This all boils down to planning. I need to be intentional in my planning. Living intentionally requires some intentional planning. A lot of intentions, a lot of being intentional, right? But it seems necessary to be successful. Successful in relationships, successful in meeting goals, successful in life.

So starts my list of goals for the year...

1. Planning. I have a planner. I intend to plan out my weeks and months. I hope that this makes things run smoother, if not easier. At least I can look to what is happening. I am not looking to throw a whole year into the planner all at once, but a few months in advance. With the baby being due in a few weeks and little man starting school, it will be more necessary to keep things straight.

2. Getting out of debt. We want a life without being strapped down by credit. No more credit card bills, no more owing money and having so much of the paycheck go towards things that we borrowed money to buy. Sad thing is? I can't even remember what those things were! Being able to set aside money for the things that are going to need to be replaced soon, like a new dinning table, washing machine, Christmas tree. We can't get those things until after that credit debt is gone. And as my son breaks another chair I can only imagine how much sooner we are going to need another table and what we can do in the mean time while we can't get one...

3. Finish the KonMari Purge. I need to establish a timeline for this one, but I am hoping to finish all of it by August. That gives me 8 months and I am already into the Kimono (miscellaneous stuff). I am thinking I might want to start over with the clothes after the baby has arrived and I have gotten closer to pre-baby body.

4. Establish my Capsule wardrobe. I took some time off the wardrobe because I was limited my clothes once I started getting bigger. I'm down to 1 skirt, 1 leggings, 2 pairs of pants that fit, 4 long sleeve shirts, 2 '3/4' sleeved shirts and 3 short sleeve. This is maternity wear, the leggings don't match a thing, one long sleeve shirt really only works under things but doesn't match with the colors in the short sleeves... My wardrobe is a mess. I may need to start figuring things out for nursing anyway! 4 more weeks!

5. Read. I have totally met a goal of 24 books this year and read 27 (Goodreads is awesome for this). I am thinking of joining the BookRiot Read Harder Challenge this year and upping my number to 30. In 2013 my goal was 20 and I read 23, so I think I can do it! :)

6. Establish a day for family and independent time, like what my friend does. It might take some husband coercion, but even if it takes most the year. I think I need the time. I haven't had a day in a long time. Rushing to the grocery store and back doesn't count.

7. Health. I need to take care of myself better... I need to drink 8 glasses of water a day, sleep 8 hours a night and not skip any meals.

8. Crafting/sewing. Finish a few more of my WIPs! More specifically those quilts taking up space in the craft room what is to be the baby's room. I need to get back into the FAL for next year. There last few quarters have been sadly lacking. You can check out my current list here. If I finish each one in a month, then I can finish by the end of May. I'm thinking more August/September though for the one where the top is started but not finished.

Let me hear from you:
What are your goals for this year?

Building My Capsule Wardrobe: My First Month and What I Have Learned.

Building a capsule wardrobe... I am not a fashionista. I have no idea about women's fashion and barely get dressed every morning. I would probably go to the store in my pjs if I could. Not like the people out here really care what you wear at the local Wal-Mart anyway...

But, for fear of looking like one of those scary, dreaded, 'only at Wal-Mart' people I actually put on jeans and a t-shirt before I head out the door. Unfortunately I usually grab the first thing I can get to which is a discarded ill-fitting article of clothing. It probably doesn't help keep me off that list.

Resources:

So, in an attempt to dress easier every morning and actually look decent in the process, I joined in on the Capsule Wardrobe bandwagon. There are a few resources out there that I used to help start the process.

Un-Fancy: A Minimalist Fashion Blog: She has this incredible worksheet, printable planner you can use to create your own capsule wardrobe. Seriously, it was pretty helpful. I am still using it. She uses a 37 item wardrobe.

Project 333: I learned about this website when I read the book "Clutterfree With Kids" by Joshua Becker. I have gone through my clothing twice since then and gotten rid of a bunch of stuff each time (yeah, I have a ton of clothes).  She uses a 33 item wardrobe.

A website I have just discovered...
Coletterie: Wardrobe Architect: a 14 week process with suggestions, worksheets and advice for building your own wardrobe. I have barely just started going through this.

Free Notion started a Sew-Along toward the end of April, using the un-fancy model, and offering her suggestions and advice for fitting clothing to your body style and sewing your own clothes. She really is amazing and I admire her in the sewing world. If you aren't following along you can still check it out!

I really had no idea what I was doing when I started, and I still haven't much of the slightest idea what I am doing now. But I have learned a few things in the last month, and that is always positive! Isn't it?

What I have learned so far:

1. I don't like button-up shirts. I don't like the way they fit or the way they hang. Really, I don't like woven materials for tops... If it restricts my movement, it's not going to see a lot of wear. It's hard enough to chase, pick up after, parent the kids when my movement is restricted.

2. I love layering tanks. I used to do it all the time when I was in my early 20's. Then I stopped when I started working in the teaching profession and started wearing these camisoles under shirts and button ups...

3. If I can't machine wash it, it isn't getting clean. I've already ruined 1 long sleeve top, 1 cardigan, and a skirt that were from my non-married, working days. They were nice Banana Republic clothes too. I tried to keep them nice. None of the second hand shops took them and I still wanted to wear them. But, into the washer and dryer (totally on accident too! so upsetting) and out looking like... they were just ruined...

4. I still don't understand what a silhouette is... I really should read Coletterie Week 4 Proportions and Silhouettes

5. I am still at a loss on the magic number of items. Most of the examples I have found are of women not living in the desert. Having a jacket and 2 cardigans aren't really all that handy out here in the middle of the 110 degree heat! Of course maybe 1 cardigan for those trips in and out of the heavily air conditioned buildings, but not much more than that seems necessary! But, like I said. I am still learning.

6. In lieu of #5, what works for some does not work for all. You need to find what works for you and the only way to discover that is to jump in and do it. In light of the Nike slogan? Just Do It...

7. Putting laundry away takes way less time than it used to.

What is in my Summer Capsule Wardrobe:

So far... I mean... It's still a work in progress... and nothing is new...

2 camisoles
4 tanks
4-7 shirts (2 are for MOPS but oh so soft! 1 is when I go shooting)
2 blouses (1 sleeveless, 1 with)
1 capri
2 pants
1 khaki slacks
2 skirts
2 dresses (neither of which I really wear)
4 shoes
4 necklaces
28 - 31 Total items

The beautiful thing about it? It's fluid. One in, one out. Take out something that doesn't work and replace it with something you think will. If that doesn't work, then try again. Keep notes on what does and doesn't work so you don't repeat the mistake. Just cause you make it one way doesn't mean it's the only way it's gonna be. Stick with it for 3 months and see what you can learn from it. You'd be surprised about how enlightening it can become!

The thing about Budgeting:

Do you really buy clothes all the time? I don't. The last time I bought a pair of jeans was after baby girl was born and that's only because I lost so much weight nothing (and I mean nothing) fit afterwards. A blessing and a curse at the same time.

It only saves the budget if you have one. Or, rather, went on shopping sprees all the time. In my case? I bought fabric that I probably otherwise might not have bought. I don't buy clothes. I haven't bought clothes and this made me want to. I had to build my wardrobe from items I already had. But it also made me look at the state of disrepair of the things I did own.

It's not fun wearing clothes you don't look good in, or what you don't feel good in.
But at the same time. This is not supposed to be something to make you want to keep up with the Jones', or at least the fashionista next door. Do what you can within your own limits.

What do you think? Do you already do something like this, or is it something you would like to try?

Want some inspiration? Check out my pinterest boards; Capsule Wardrobe, PDF Sewing Patterns: Women, Outfit Inspiration: Women

Check out my other Capsule Wardrobe Posts:
Capsule Wardrobe: What I am Thankful for
Boys Printable Wardrobe Planner
Girls Printable Wardrobe Planner