Where Does the Time Go? {Welcome Back}

You know how time flies and all of a sudden a huge surge of time has passed and you don't even know what happened? These last 6 months have been super crazy! Like, seriously. I have no idea where the time went or what we honestly spent all our time doing! I mean, yeah. The oldest is in school (1st grade) and I got my middle into speech services at the preschool. Good gracious that girl needed some help. And she starts kindergarten in the fall, or rather in the summer in our case!

How has this much time passed that I have not sat down and shared anything with you? Ok. Not quite 6 months. More like 5 months. I know I did not share much with you wonderful readers in the last year though. I am hoping planning to share more with you all.  Although did you see the new Boys Can Wear Pink post? He Loves his shirt! The girls got some new dresses in the Super Heroes and Princesses GYCT Spring Dress Tour which they wear all. the. time.

But, wait? What do I have to share with you now? I know my last year was not much in the sewing and crafting world and more of the mommy stuff and then this month I have shared 2 sewing posts.  What's up with the jumping around? 

Well, I'm not entirely sure what is up with the jumping around. It's just the way my life goes, especially with kids. So much jumping around. So much growth. So much change. Life is change. Life is growth. And man has so much happened in the last 5-6 months! Yet it almost feels like nothing much has. Isn't it kind of funny how it feels that way? It's like I can't keep up with how fast time is passing us by. I have not taken much time to sew. I have not taken much time to craft. I miss it. Motherhood has me by the horns for sure. I am jumping with the throws motherhood sends my way. 

I originally started this blog for the purpose of keeping up with family. I added in sewing and craft stuff after a couple years and then the shift occurred to where it was pretty much just sewing and craft stuff.  I plan to work on integrating it all together. There will be some motherhood stuff, some self-care, sewing for the kids, taking care of the family, some general trying to figure-things-out kind of posts, and quite possibly a little bit of God thrown in. But I will tell you now, it's not going to be perfect. I am not perfect. None of us are, really. I am still trying to figure out how to jump through some of life's hoops (and how to avoid some entirely). 

Welcome {back} to the journey of our lives. 

Read a Book: The Maltese Falcon on Audio {An Audio Book Review}

So, one of my goals for this year is to read 30 books. And after reading some others' reading goals, I thought I might share with you my thoughts on the stories I read. At least once a month sharing one of the books I have read and my thoughts on it (I got the idea to share from HattieLuHandmade)! The hard part was picking which book to share with you! I have enjoyed them all!

The Month of January I read:
Inside the O'briens by Lisa Genova
For the Love by Jen Hatmaker
The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hamett

It was hard because I really want to share Inside the O'Briens with you. But I am deciding to go with The Maltese Falcon.

I have not seen the movie with Humphrey Bogart, nor had I read this prior. I bought a copy after I read Mildred Pierce by James M. Cain in college and felt that I needed to read more vintage crime novels. But, I never actually read the book.

The Story
I'm not going to give too much away about the story itself.

I wouldn't mind picking this one up again! It was captivating, the characters were fascinating especially the multi-layered Miss Wonderly. I pictured in my head Sam Spade as rough around the edges. But the time period of the 30s is fascinating, especially when dealing with the PI stories of the time. The story has everything I imagine for a 30's PI story: Deception, Murder, Mystery, Womanizing Romance that only the 30's can portray, conniving women with their just as dubious male counterpart.... No one is innocent or free from scrutiny.

The part that sticks out to me the most is the first scene between Sam Spade and Kasper Gutman. I found Gutman humorous and actaully kind of reminded me of someone I used to know (no longer associate with) with his round-about, 'I'm better than you', gentlemanly-type talk. But the line that sticks out the most is their toast, "Here's to plain talk and clear understanding". I found that line fascinating. Slightly the antithesis of the character himself, in reference to Gutman, and exactly the opposite of what transpires between the two characters immediately following.

The line got me to thinking about our relationships with those around us. Really, how often do we say things that either beat around the bush to how we really feel? Or it is something that we think the other person wants to hear? But even if we speak truthfully, the other people usually will read into thoughts or assume the worst when it was not the intention. But if we speak plainly, is there only one way but through clear understanding? Can we really get mad at others for feeling the way they feel, especially if they share those said emotions and thoughts?

The Audio
Actually, I am still stuck in this feeling that I still haven't actually 'read' the book as I listened to this one on audio. I've tried listening to books on tape before (books on cd/audiobook same thing right?). I always felt bored listening to the same voice over and over again. But this one was different, nice, in that it had a full cast to portray the characters. It kept me engaged and interested, but I still wonder how much I have missed through not actually looking at the words.

It was fascinating though. I was able to work on cleaning, housework, sewing, crocheting all while listening to this book. I listened straight through earbuds on my phone and loved it! It might have helped that is was an Audie Award winner book! It does make me want to see Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade...

Tell me
Have you read/heard/seen The Maltese Falcon? What were your thoughts?
What have you read/listened to recently? Did you enjoy it?

Do you think listening to an audio book is the same thing as reading?

Until next time...

Reflection: 2015 Resolutions and Goals Revisited

At the beginning of the year I wrote the post Happy New Year: Welcome 2015 (New Year's Resolutions - Goals). I wanted to go back and see how I did, reflect on the year. What better way to decide where to go next year than by looking at the past year; and, of course, so I don't repeat mistakes and unachievable goals. Right?

My 2015 Goals:

1. Selling Handmade/ Handcrafted Items

2. Design and sell foundation paper pieced patterns

3. working towards becoming debt free

4. Buy a bigger car

5. don't skip meals

6. Sleep 8 hours a night

How'd I do?

1. I decided against the clothing aspect. I have no interest in the compliance and all other hoops to jump through in order to sell. I respect and appreciate those that do. It is too much time, money and stress for me. At least I am honest.
Do I still want to make quilts and bags to sell? Yes! Do they have compliance laws? I have no idea, and I guess it would be something to look into. But, with the new baby that probably will not take place this year.

2. I have not listed more than my Arizona Flag on Craftsy. My laptop died. We got a chromebook. Excuses/excuses... I need to work on that one some more. I still have an alphabet that I was working on, but again not something this next year, or at least immediately.

3. Working towards debt free. I have no idea how to share this with you without giving a ton of (too much, not necessary?) info. We got more than halfway there. Then, the credit cards started getting used again and... Well... That went out the window. We got back on about a halfway through the year, then stopped again because of the baby. Budgeting helps. It is necessary. We live paycheck to paycheck at this point. Is it ok? Sure. The end goal will happen. Projected time frame? 2 years. Eek. But hey, it's something. As long as we can keep things under control, stick to the budget and not stray, we can probably finish faster.

4. Buy a bigger car. How can one save up if your paying down debt? You can't. It doesn't work. You can't do both at the same time. End result? We now need a new car, thanks to beautiful baby #3 due in 5 weeks, and not much to use towards it. Oops. But, our little girl is totally worth it. I look forward to holding her, and seeing her daddy and brother and sister with her!

5. don't skip meals. I haven't been tracking it. I can't tell you how many I have skipped. I know it's a lot.

6. Sleep 8 hours a night. Yeah, not tracked. but I am usually in bed by 9 and sleep until about 5:30/6... Maybe with 1 or two wake ups in there... That's about 8 hours. I can't function without it. And I usually nap about an hour every day too. Will I keep it up after baby? we'll see...

Reflection and Application:
Somethings that I set out to accomplish were... reasonable... but not extremely realistic for me. But, Live and learn, yes? I have a list of things that I need to replace which wont happen until after the debt is paid, but at least I have learned that lesson and a lot focuses around the budget/debt aspect of goals.

I'm in the process of writing my goals for next year and trying to keep in mind keeping them SMART. I learned that in college for planning IEP Goals. You would think I would have kept that in mind for myself too. But, the more you do it the better you get at it. But, so many people reference that in yearly, monthly, daily goal setting.

I am thinking planning is a big one for next year. A way to document and track how I am doing towards goals. I need to figure out a way to measure them...

Let me hear from you!
Did you make goals last year? Did you meet them? How do you monitor your progress throughout the year?

A Little Bit of Reality... Needing Some Quality 'Me' Time... {The Orange Rhino: 30 Challenge to Stop Yelling}

I love my kids so much! But, these last few days have been so hard! I'm a yell-er. I didn't used to be until after I had started working. I thought it would go away once I stopped working... it didn't... I don't like it... I hate it...

Nikolai is taking every toy away from Samara when she starts playing...

Samara has not been napping well. That makes for one cranky and tired baby...

Nikolai refuses to nap and has been giving me attitude/back talking...

The only ounce of me (by myself, alone) time I have is in the evening, after everyone has gone to bed when it is late. Or a rush to the grocery store because we need something. Then, I'm in a rush to try and make the most out of my me time that it becomes more stressful than relaxing...

I have gone a week without showering! Yuck! At least I have clean clothes...

My phone has not been working (not charging and wont turn on) so I haven't even really been able to have a good conversation with a friend in almost a week. I miss a good convo with a friend...

Mostly, I usually only get out of the house is to run errands (grocery shopping)...

If you haven't noticed, I am feeling the need for some 'me' time, time with friends, or just peace without children. I feel like I am on the verge of a break down. Unfortunately, it is real and hiding it is not healthy. So I am trying to get it out and just not sit down and cry...

Today (Day 17) of the Orange Rhino, 30 day challenge to not yell at your kids, is to make goals to take care of yourself...

My Daily goals:

- eat breakfast (you think it would be easy... but I need to remember coffee is not breakfast)

- read a book or a chapter, or even half a chapter, just to read some for me

- go to bed earlier than 2am 

Short term goal:

- get a haircut (I want it short, it would be a bit of a drastic change though) *feedback?

Long term goal:

- take photography classes and/or clothing pattern drafting classes (a maybe because of expense)

-or-

- get together with a friend for coffee or lunch or something (no kids) at least quarterly

What are your goals for yourself? How do you make sure that you take care of you? How do you get some quality 'me' time in?

Reflecting on Loss: Thankful for What We Have

I am letting you know. This is a type of honesty post from me. Today has just been an emotional day. This is an emotional post.

I know what it is to experience loss. It is heart wrenching. "Time makes you forget" is an illusion. It is false hope that things will get better. It doesn't get better. It just gets a little easier.

And then, every once in a while you get those not so subtle reminders that seem more to slap you in the face causing an avalanche of tears rather than tickle your cheek to bring down a single drop. Sends you back to the "what-if's" and "if-only's" or "it would be like this now..." Those are the dangerous thoughts. Then, those thoughts because the ultimate self-defeating: This is silly... This is not me... Snap out of it...

That is the time when you need to look at what is before you, not behind you. In the midst of it the present is all there is.

I have shared on Facebook and instagram about a blogger who is need for prayers for a successful surgery and recovery. They still are in need of those prayers. (I am not going too into detail because they are not mine to give)... Me, being emotional already, was sent into a whirlwind of whatever seemed to be tormenting my mind.

I looked at my babies... I couldn't imagine... There is so much wonder, hope and intrigue looking through their blue eyes, directed at me. There is so much I hope for them. I hope for them to become great. To be able to feel successful, to feel loved. I am so glad that I have them. 

We do not realize that life given to us is precious. Just as easily does it start, it can end. The hardest part is just not knowing when. 

So I look at my two babies and am thankful. I am thankful that I have the time with them that I have. My little boy turns 3 on Sunday. Every day, every year, with them is a blessing. It is amazing that anything and everything can change in the blink of an eye.

I am thankful for our good health. That my 2 babies (though the doctor was worried about weight gain) are doing well. (Samara gained 12oz this last month and Nikolai is up to 26lbs!)

Perhaps I am being over emotional. But sometimes, all it takes is that little thing to send you hurtling back...

All I have to do is look into those sweet faces to be reminded that we should be thankful for all we have...

All children deserve to live a full and happy life... thus today I pray...Adapted from John10:10 ... might we have life and might we have it more full...