Baby Girl's 6 months update... Almost 7 months!

It seems like it was just yesterday that we brought Samara home from the hospital. Already she is sitting up unsupported, sat up on her own so far 2 times, and is making her way across the floor! Oh my goodness!

At her Doctor appointment (the shots got to us this time around), she weighs 13 lbs 3 oz. That is 1 lb more than the month before! For my little babies, that is a big gain!  She is also 24.75"! I'm so proud of my growing baby girl. Course, the shots were not fun. She was whiny, cranky, and only wanted to nurse for days. She would nurse, sleep, nurse, sleep, etc... Her sleeping was not longer than 30-45 minutes at a time and would just nurse from waking to sleeping... Forget getting too much done!

She is such a little manipulator. She knows exactly what to do to get her way, and getting her way means mommy holding her. Of course she is such a silly little girl and loves laughing at her silly brother! And he sure loves making her laugh! He will giggle right along with her, then tell me "mommy, she likes it!" It is just too darn cute. He has to be close to her and she doesn't like being too far from him. It's sweet! She calls him 'broa" with the vowels kind of drawn out. It's cute, and doesn't happen all the time, but when she is calling out to him (looking for him) or trying to get his attention. I love it! 

She has started eating solid foods. She has had rice cereal (and is hard to feed because she lunges for the spoon), asparagus (she prefers it with butter) and peas. Asparagus made her gag the first two times we fed it to her, but she opens her mouth for it if it is made with butter. Since that is how we normally prepare it, that works well. Next will be broccoli and cauliflower. I wanted broccoli to be second, but we were out. I hope that our food decisions help having a non-picky eater like her brother. But who knows. She still goes for our plates as we eat.

I have also lost a bunch of weight! Maybe TMI but I am sharing this number with you. I was 139! I have not been below 150 since before Brandon and I were married! I thought my pants seemed to be getting bigger recently, but didn't really realize it until I stood on the scale. 

Reflecting on Loss: Thankful for What We Have

I am letting you know. This is a type of honesty post from me. Today has just been an emotional day. This is an emotional post.

I know what it is to experience loss. It is heart wrenching. "Time makes you forget" is an illusion. It is false hope that things will get better. It doesn't get better. It just gets a little easier.

And then, every once in a while you get those not so subtle reminders that seem more to slap you in the face causing an avalanche of tears rather than tickle your cheek to bring down a single drop. Sends you back to the "what-if's" and "if-only's" or "it would be like this now..." Those are the dangerous thoughts. Then, those thoughts because the ultimate self-defeating: This is silly... This is not me... Snap out of it...

That is the time when you need to look at what is before you, not behind you. In the midst of it the present is all there is.

I have shared on Facebook and instagram about a blogger who is need for prayers for a successful surgery and recovery. They still are in need of those prayers. (I am not going too into detail because they are not mine to give)... Me, being emotional already, was sent into a whirlwind of whatever seemed to be tormenting my mind.

I looked at my babies... I couldn't imagine... There is so much wonder, hope and intrigue looking through their blue eyes, directed at me. There is so much I hope for them. I hope for them to become great. To be able to feel successful, to feel loved. I am so glad that I have them. 

We do not realize that life given to us is precious. Just as easily does it start, it can end. The hardest part is just not knowing when. 

So I look at my two babies and am thankful. I am thankful that I have the time with them that I have. My little boy turns 3 on Sunday. Every day, every year, with them is a blessing. It is amazing that anything and everything can change in the blink of an eye.

I am thankful for our good health. That my 2 babies (though the doctor was worried about weight gain) are doing well. (Samara gained 12oz this last month and Nikolai is up to 26lbs!)

Perhaps I am being over emotional. But sometimes, all it takes is that little thing to send you hurtling back...

All I have to do is look into those sweet faces to be reminded that we should be thankful for all we have...

All children deserve to live a full and happy life... thus today I pray...Adapted from John10:10 ... might we have life and might we have it more full...

The Arrival of Samara - part 2

I am actually taking the time to go through pictures! Now that it is super late and I should really be sleeping... But then when else am I going to do this? Hopefully this is ok since my new momma sleep deprived brain is still a little out of whack! I put coffee grounds into the basket and completely spaced the filter the other day, and didn't realize until 2 scoops in...

So, here are some pictures. :)

41 Weeks 2 Days
Getting Ready to go to the Hospital

Welcome to the World,
Samara

The Arrival of Samara

Well, needless to say I have been fairly busy these last 6 days! But for good reason. We are all so excited that Friday, July 19th, went so incredibly well and that baby girl is finally here! 

It went so fast! I cannot believe how quickly it went! The doctor decided it was considered more an augmentation of labor rather than an induction of labor because my natural hormones kicked in, and that makes me feel so excited too! But of course there are other reasons too! I wanted it to be as natural as possible, just like when Nikolai was born. You can read the story of his birth here. I don't think this story will be as long because the labor was not as long... But then again, sometimes I can become long winded. ;)

So here I go...

We were, once again, supposed to go into the hospital at 5am.  We were actually on time with her. I had awoken at 2 am and could not fall back asleep. When the alarm went off around 3/3:30 (we hit the snooze a few times), I was pretty much awake but tired. 

We got to the hospital around 4:50 and started the paperwork.

I think we got into the room around 6-ish. They did not check to see if there was any further progression of labor, just established baseline of my blood pressure and heart rate, and Samara's heart rate. Pitocin started around 7 am.

By 8:30 am my doctor arrived with the UofA med students. They checked to see what the progression of labor was (by this time I was getting 8 mu/min of pitocin. So much less than with Nikolai! I was 6 cm (up from 4 at the dr appointment) and still 80% effaced. They broke my water. Eww... Much less of a gush than Nikolai and more of a trickle that continued until transition at least. Well, that was as long as I noticed it for.

The doctor said he was expecting it to be around 1-3 hours when Samara was going to arrive. I figured that sounded a bit right since Nikolai was 3 hours from them breaking my water.

I ended up laboring for a bit sitting on the edge of the bed until I felt the need to use the bathroom. Once I get to the bathroom, I felt horrible. Not incredible excruciating pain or anything, but I would have a contraction, need to use the toilet, get up to clean up, only to have to sit back down because of another contraction. I was so uncomfortable I just wanted to lie down in bed! Poor Brandon was standing right there beside me holding my hands when I needed him to, helping me up only to have to go through the whole process all over again.

I finally made it back to the bed to lie down, have the nurse hook me back up to the monitor and remind me to call if I felt the need to push while she was away only to have the urge to poop come after she left. I ignored the feeling debating if I should go to the bathroom (I had already done that by this point, but I figured I needed to again). Well, a few contractions later and I needed to push!

Brandon asked me if he should call the nurse. My response was an "I don't know, it's too soon!" Well, silly me, I should have known better. After a few more contractions with the uncontrollable urge to push (I felt like I was writhing on the bed to NOT push) and Brandon pushed for the nurse. I can only imagine what I looked like to Brandon at that time or what he was thinking.

The nurse checked me and sure enough, I was fully effaced, fully dilated and you could see Samara's head! But, isn't it my luck that the dr was not at the hospital? Luckily one was coming out of surgery at that time and came into the room to gown up. He sat waiting to catch, but I was not actively pushing, just pushing through the need to make me more comfortable. He was just there if he needed to catch.

Shortly after, my doctor came in and gowned up. I got ready to really push and then... nothing... I was glad for the chance to breath and relax. Sometime during the first dr and my dr they had turned off the pitocin. Maybe that was what gave me the opportunity to breath! Then a contraction. So I pushed once. I know people where telling me things, but in all honesty I did not hear any of it. The dr tried to do a perineum message. Well, that hurt and I was not prepared for that. If he had told me I would have suffered through, but he stopped instead. We can all guess what resulted from that... Ouch... Oh well... 

I pushed a second time and out popped her little head. A third push and she was out! So happy! I heard her cry immediately. The nurse put her in my arms, Brandon came up and talked to her and she looked for him. It was so cute! There are no words to describe the feeling of holding your baby for the first time. I didn't want to let her go, but then I couldn't wait for her big brother to see her!

She was born 10:22am, a little less that 2 hours after they broke my water, 7 pounds 14 ounces and 19.25 inches long with an apgar score of 9/9.

No epidural, they didn't even ask except in the beginning what my pain management goal was. There was really, no time for it, and that is fine with me. I didn't even think about it!

Don't Worry... I will post more pictures later...

I am so proud of my baby girl, and so proud of me!

:)

Scheduled Eviction

Just to update...

I went to the doctor today to see what is going on. No change with dilation (hey, still half way there!) or effacement. He is not willing to go past the end of the week.

I had to go to the hospital to monitor Samara's movements, heart rate and amniotic fluid... All are fine!

41 Weeks

And so it is... Waiting past the doctor's suggested due date and no baby is here yet.

I am exhausted. I am hot. I am done... Done.

I am uncomfortable. It hurts when she kicks. I am tired after contractions for several hours then nothing.

I am not complaining so much as just giving my reasons for being done.

It is a good thing. I get this time with Nikolai, taking all that I can because after this it wont be just him anymore.

I find that most days I pace the house and try to stay busy. But, I actually don't ever complete anything.

I did make a framed holder for bows we got from the baby showers...

I like it, it's cute. But there is no home for it yet as Samara's room is still a disaster area and the mural is not complete.

...

Well, today we are off to the doctor to see if I am still at 4-5cm. Hoping for change, but not expecting any... We will see what happens after today...

Baby Shower, Swimming, and Other Things...

This last Sunday my good friends Beth and Arlene threw me a baby shower for Samara. I am just so thankful for all the people that came out, and sorry we missed the ones who couldn't make it (it's ok, we should get together later!)...

Nikolai and I went swimming on Monday in a blow-up pool that we bought last year (and hardly ever used) He is so cute and had so much fun!

I had a doctor appointment on Wednesday, and I have some news about that too! So... Here we go...

36 Weeks and 5 (now 6) Days...

Yesterday was the ultrasound appointment to determine if Samara is in the head down position! About 2.5 years ago, in November 2010,  I had to undergo an External Cephalic Version in order to turn Nikolai from a breeched position ( I talk about that here, here and the actual Version here). I have to say that once the wand was showing what was in the pelvic region I was extremely...

relieved!

Daddy and Nikolai pictures

I loved the pictures from the Mommy and Me shoot that Jenn Roberts did for us.  We did some with Brandon and Nikolai too. Just in time for Father's day. I love pictures!

And here are quite a few of them... I had such a hard time picking some out to share with you!

Almost Know the Gender

We were so close... We were in the ultrasound room at my doctor's office waiting. And the tech came in to tell us that the Dr was called out for an emergency and we needed to reschedule. So for trial 3, here we go...
We go back tomorrow morning first thing. Keep your fingers crossed that it all goes through! By lunch we may have pictures and the baby's gender! Yay!