I will say this first, this is not going to be a manual for troubleshooting a baby, partly because every baby is different and partly because I really have no idea what I am doing (despite the appearance of my handling Nikolai...). And I can say, Poor Brandon. But, I am not here to hand the baby off to once he starts getting fussy. Every now and then, a mom needs her break from work just like you need yours. (so I guess this is a little bit of venting time, sorry...)
I am not trying to be down on Brandon. The fact that he does anything at all, I am extremely thankful for. He is a great Dad, and I love him tremendously! What would I do without him? I have no idea!
That said, on to what I have to say...
Yesterday, I felt ill. My stomach hurt, my head hurt, all I wanted to do was sleep the night/day/night away. I didn't want to eat anything, but did. I didn't want to do the laundry, but did. I didn't want to stand, but did anyway. I felt weak and it was horrible. It scared me to think I might have really been sick, and to pass it on to Nikolai. Gosh, I sure hope it was just a day thing...
Brandon got home and went outside to work on the backyard or his engine or something out there. I have no idea what it was. He came inside about an hour or so later and was snacking on celery and peanut butter. I wanted some, but didn't. I was hungry, but not... Anyway, after some back and forth words, I wound up asking (more like a demanding request) if Brandon would shower so he could watch Nikolai. I hadn't felt well, and just needed some time for me, or to relax at least.
After about an hour, he was finally ready to take Nikolai (this was about 7:30 and I had fallen asleep on the floor next to Nikolai before he even went to shower!). Anyway, by that time Nikolai was getting tired and was acting like he was getting tired. Brandon took Nikolai, played with him for a little bit then went on to play on the computer. Of course Nikolai fussed (he wanted the attention on him) so Brandon put him in his rocker, which maybe worked for 10 minutes (if that) and he fussed some more. I was in the kitchen making dinner (soup and grilled cheese because I felt like it was all my stomach could endure) and was just so frustrated! Nikolai wanted attention! (I have learned you cannot play on the computer when he is awake, especially when he wants to play!)
I have been handed the baby so many times (and I thank Brandon for trying to troubleshoot last night, I needed the time even if it was to make dinner) because I am the one who can make him stop crying. At least better than he can, according to Brandon... Well, it is because I have no one else here during the day to pawn the baby off to. I have to try different things...
So I guess I will create my list, maybe it can help me remember to tell Brandon (or whoever else who needs it) these things instead of having him/her hand me the baby...
- change of view... not yours, but the baby's - this means even lifting them into the air a few times, hold them differently to change where they can look around
- change the area... go from the sofa to the floor, or a different room
- back to tummy time - sometimes that helps regardless of where you are
- standing time, or even play with sitting
- does he need to chew on something? use your finger
- talk to him
- does he need a diaper change?
- sing
- is he tired? - rubbing eyes, eyebrows red (telltale sign for Nikolai), groggy in facial expression/body language
- is he hungry?
Lucky for me Brandon even gave Nikolai a bottle last night. I got a pretty good brake for at least a couple hours. And he didn't hand him over to me the moment he started crying! Honestly, I still don't know what his cries mean. I just troubleshoot, but alone time is something I use if nothing else works, last resort. Most of the time, one of the others helps first...
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